Reality appears to have finally hit Carles Puigdemont square in the face.
Spanish TV channel Telecinco this week obtained text messages it says were sent by the ex-Catalan regional president to one of his former ministers in which Puigdemont admitted the game was up and “the Moncloa’s [the office of Spanish Prime Minister Mariano Rajoy] plan has triumphed.”
Puigdemont and the recipient of the messages — another exiled pro-independence politician, Toni Comín — both took to Twitter to denounce the journalistic methods used to obtain the texts, but didn’t deny that they were sent.
So what now for Puigdemont, who’s been in Belgium since shortly after the illegal (according to Madrid) independence vote, and who faces arrest if he steps back on Spanish soil? He’s been hanging out with the Flemish N-VA party but he’ll surely need a source of income pretty soon.
Here are five options he might like to explore:
1. Foreign correspondent
As Puigdemont was at pains to point out when denouncing Telecinco, “I am a journalist and I have always understood that there are limits, such as privacy, which should never be violated.”
Perhaps he could dust off the old notebook and report on EU affairs for Catalan media. He’s well sourced in Catalan circles although he might have a tiny bit of trouble getting senior figures in Madrid to return his calls, and he might not be the most impartial reporter (not always a handicap in Spanish media).
But that would be a small price to pay for being able to cover European Council summits and attend press briefings given by a certain Mariano Rajoy. That could be a tad awkward.
Of course, Puigdemont would have to make sure he doesn’t fall for the old “you’ve been invited to a briefing at the Spanish embassy” trick as he’d be arrested as soon as he stepped through the door.
2. Flemish politician
The New Flemish Alliance (N-VA) has become Puigdemont’s Belgian home-from-home. The Flemish nationalists, who have at times called for the breakup of Belgium, sided openly with the separatists in northeastern Spain and the former Catalan president was welcomed with open arms after fleeing.
Theo Francken, Belgium’s state secretary for asylum and migration, even said in October that “Catalan people who feel politically threatened can ask for asylum in Belgium. That includes President Puigdemont. This is 100 percent legal.”
If that was to happen, why not make Puigdemont an N-VA figurehead and put him on the ticket. He has name value, can attract a big crowd and has a track record in winning elections (albeit not always legal ones). Plus, supporters of Puigdemont — including some in Belgium — had argued that he could carry out his role in Catalonia with the use of technology such as video links (see below). If that’s the thinking, there’s no reason why he couldn’t run, say, Bruges (or Brugge, if you will) from Brussels.
3. Forest ranger
Perhaps understandably, Puigdemont disappeared off the radar for a while after landing in Belgium. When he reappeared, it was to speak to the Le Soir daily while walking in a forest (it was a pre-arranged meeting, Puigdemont wasn’t hanging around waiting for a passing journalist out walking his or her dog).
The interview took place in the Arboretum of Tervuren — whose website calls it “the Kingdom of Trees” but doesn’t make clear if that’s a self-proclaimed independent kingdom — which was no doubt glad of the publicity. Its bosses could return the favor by employing Puigdemont to keep the place tidy and prove he’s turned over a new leaf.
4. Run a baraque à frites
If the former Catalan president really wants to blend in and embrace the deep-fried bruxellois lifestyle, what better way to do it than open his own frit stand.
Sure, it wouldn’t be El Bulli, but selling fries while telling stories about the old days in the Catalan quasi-Republic could be a winner.
But go elsewhere if you want Sauce Andalouse.
5. Tech guru
If Puigdemont can’t go home without landing in jail, then surely he can govern from elsewhere? That was the call from some of his supporters, who suggested he run Catalonia over Skype. The Spanish courts were having none of that and dismissed the idea out of hand.
Is it possible to govern remotely? There’s no reason why not, and what better ambassador for the tech that would allow it to happen than Puigdemont himself.
The new “Exile App” could even be run entirely by emoji. Police sent in by Madrid to beat up pensioners trying to vote? 
Rajoy’s Popular Party faces fresh corruption scandal? 
Interpol knocking at the door? 
An extra feature could be to beam Puigdemont into the room as a hologram, just like Princess Leia in “Star Wars” or Tupac at Coachella.
Or he could just return to Spain and go to jail.